


Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze

by claveldelaire



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: A little bit of sadness, Adoption, Adoptive parents (kind of), Getting Together, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Raising a child together, Single dad (Steve)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29328003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/claveldelaire/pseuds/claveldelaire
Summary: "Steve has brought the baby home just three days ago although he knows he lacks the experience and the time to raise a child on his own. He asked for a week off from work to make all the legal paperwork to put her in an orphanage but he hasn't had the time for it. Just to start, the girl cries a lot and it makes sense, she lost her parents in a span of a month; her mother and her mother’s friend were killed in front of her, and two unknown men took her to an equally unknown house."
Relationships: Javier Peña/Vanessa, Steve Murphy & Javier Peña, Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry about this.

Steve has brought the baby home just three days ago although he knows he lacks the experience and the time to raise a child on his own. He asked for a week off from work to make all the legal paperwork to put her in an orphanage but he hasn't had the time for it. Just to start, the girl cries a lot and it makes sense, she lost her parents in a span of a month; her mother and her mother’s friend were killed in front of her, and two unknown men took her to an equally unknown house.

She needs to be fed, to be changed, to be bathed, to be rocked to sleep. Too much for a single, inexperienced father. Oh, and Steve isn't even his father.

Luckily, Javier has been a constant presence in his house since he brought the kid. He taught Steve how to change her diapers because he grew up taking care of his nephews back in Texas, and he does all the shopping for him. Between the two of them, they make a decent job of bathing her. He has even run to Steve’s apartment in the middle of the night when he heard the baby not crying,  _ but screaming _ her little lungs out. The next morning, Javier rushed to the pharmacy to buy some colic meds for her. 

Steve is really thankful with Javi, but he doesn't have the time to put it into words, and he knows that Javier doesn't need to be reassured with words either.

"Did you call to the orphanage today?" Javier asks the fourth day when he comes to Steve's house after work. He has picked the girl up from the carpet where she was playing and is balancing her on his knee now. The little thing giggles as if Javier's moustache is the most hilarious thing in the world.

"I couldn't!" Steve groans, pouring himself a so-much-needed glass of whiskey and dropping himself on the couch, opposite to Javier. "She finally got asleep at six in the morning and so did I. We wake up quite late in the morning and she was crying because she was hungry. After eating she was crying because of the colics and after taking the meds she was crying because she shit herself." Steve pauses and takes a gulp from the glass.

"I can see you're overwhelmed," Javier says, laughing at Steve's dishevelled hair and at his dirty polo t-shirt the baby has puked in last night.

"I was waiting for you to help me bathing her," Steve practically pleads.

"You must take the time to call the orphanage, Murphy, if you don't, you will end up being quite a mediocre single parent," Javier takes the piss of him.

Steve doesn't get that it is a joke.

"I'm afraid of her slipping from my hands if I bath her alone," he excuses himself.

Javi throws him a worried look.

"Let's do this, I'll take care of her bath and you'll have a shower in the meantime," Javier decides, getting up with the girl in his arms. "And do the laundry, please, that t-shirt is puked all over."

Steve throws all his clothes in the washing machine and enters the shower while Javi is in his room picking baby's clothes. He's in the middle of his business when Javier enters the bathroom and starts filling the baby's bathtub. When Steve gets out of the shower with a towel already around his waist, Javier is kneeling next to the toilet where he has placed the pink bathtub, washing the baby with a small sponge. Steve ignores all the awkwardness of being almost naked next to his co-worker in his bathroom and kneels next to him, holding the baby by the armpits for Javi to have better access to clean her. Being so close to Javier, allows Steve to smell him. He smells to apple shampoo, cigarette smoke, and mild sweat from being all day at work. He must be tired, too, but he comes and spends all of his free time on Steve's apartment, helping him or simply playing with the baby. He just leaves around midnight every night to sleep at his own house.

"They said that all the paperwork could take between three to four weeks," a hopeless Steve informs Javier the fifth day. 

Javier throws him a pitying look. The bags under Steve's eyes are worryingly blue and he has lost some weight during the last week. "First thing on Monday morning I need to bring her to the orphanage to begin with the formalities."

Javier nods.

"I'll go with you," he says. "And I'll take care of her during the weekend, you need to sleep and to have a full solid meal."

"You don't have to, it was my decision to bring her home," Steve sighs.

"And I allowed you do that," Javier brushes off the matter. Steve wants to hug him. "Now go, take a nap while I order food and make her some food."  _ Steve wants to fucking hug him. _

Steve is awakened an hour and a half later when the doorbell rings. Javi ordered some typical Colombian empanadas and made mashed potatoes for the baby. She is humming happily around the spoon Javi is feeding her with.

" _ Do you want to be a dad? _ " Steve asks without much thinking. "Eventually?"

Javier opens his eyes in surprise.

"Me? A dad? No way," he scoffs, wiping the baby's chin with a napkin. "I lack the ability," he says.

"Oh, I see," Steve ponders, smiling to himself.

Javier has hummed the girl to sleep in his arms while he drowns a glass of whiskey. Steve is washing the dishes and Javier has taken the baby to the bedroom to tuck her into bed. Figuratively, since they haven't bought a cradle for her, so she sleeps in bed with Steve, carefully surrounded by pillows. When he's done cleaning he goes to the bedroom to see if Javi needs help and what he sees melts his heart. There is only one lamp lit, casting a yellow light over the room. The baby is peacefully sleeping on her side, protected by the cushions Javier has put around her, and in the side of the bed that's closer to the door, Javier is also sleeping on his side, mirroring her.

Steve takes a moment to absorb what he's seeing and then he steps outside the bedroom. He doesn't want to intrude, Javier must be exhausted. Steve could sleep on the couch. He takes a step in its direction but he thinks better about it. He also doesn't want to lose that moment; it's so rare to have the opportunity of watching Javi being so soft that he decides to take the risk and get into bed with them. He brushes his teeth as silent as he can and goes into the bedroom.

Javier is still wearing his shoes, proof that he has fallen asleep unwittingly. Steve kneels next to him and tries to take them off, failing miserably. Javier squirms and lifts his head to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he mouths, not to wake the baby up. "I'll leave."

"Oh no,  _ please stay _ ," Steve almost cries. "You're tired, plus there is enough room in the bed for the three of us."

Javier, who's propped on his elbow, smiles softly, his eyes slowly falling shut again. Steve finishes taking Javier's shoes off and surrounds the bed, stripping off and putting in the old t-shirt he uses to sleep. Briefly, he thinks about offering Javi a pyjama, but he's afraid of ruining the mood, so he lets him sleep wearing his work clothes.

When Steve wakes up the next morning, he's alone in bed, his only company are the pillows used as a barrier for the baby. He gets up and it seems he's home alone too. There is a post-it on the kitchen counter with Javier's uneven handwriting on it.  _ 'We're out doing business. There's coffee in the pot. We'll be back for lunch.' _

_ Okay. _

Steve wonders what kind of business could involve a forty-something-year-old man and a five-or-six-month baby girl on a Saturday morning, as he drinks the coffee Javier left for him.

"All sorted," Javier announces when he's back. The baby sleeping on his shoulder. Steve looks at him, bewildered. "Vanessa will take care of her until she's admitted to the orphanage so you can stop skipping work."

"You're taking the baby to a brothel?"

"Murphy, please! Vanessa will come here during the day, even though the girls already love the little thing," he says, pointing to the sleeping baby.

" _ Did you take the baby to a brothel? _ " Steve asks,  _ again _ with his eyes as big as plates.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Murphy! It's deserted on weekend mornings."

"Peña!"

"What?" Javier is defensive now. "I also bought her things," he says as he throws a paper bag on the couch.

Later the same day, as they're getting into bed again to have a nap, Javier says:

"It will be expensive, you know?"

"What?"

"Having Vanessa here," Javier says.

"I don't know, you tell me since you're the one who knows how much she charges for an hour of work," spits Steve. He's upset but he hasn't clear why: if it's because Javier took the baby to a brothel or because he wants to get one of his hookers in Steve’s house.

"I don't know, she has a special price just for me," Javier jokes.

Javier rolls his eyes when Steve doesn't laugh at his words and, as if he has just read Steve's mind, he says:

"Vanessa is my friend, you know? She's a good person and she loves babies." Steve nods, still annoyed.

Javier makes sure the pillows are correctly arranged and gets up to leave.

"You can stay," Steve says, not looking at him.

"I need to take a shower," Javier excuses himself.

Steve points to his bathroom as if it was obvious. Javier's face softens.

"Will need clean clothes," he says, casually but he's already unbuttoning his shirt when Steve points to his closet.

"She needs a name," Javier realises suddenly on Sunday morning. He's making toast, wearing one of Steve's sweatpants that are too big on him and a polo t-shirt, also Steve's which doesn't flatter him at all, but Steve loves the overall view of him barefoot at his kitchen, wearing his clothes and making them breakfast.

Steve, who has finally managed to calm her down, is feeding the baby a bottle.

"I don't know, I thought they would give her a name at the orphanage," he says.

"We can't keep her for a month without giving her a name, Steve," Javier says, bringing the toast to the coffee table.

"What does Vanessa think about that?" Steve spits, still not over the previous morning.

"That you're an asshole," Javier says without even flinching.

"I like Olivia," Javier mutters at night when they're already in bed.

It takes a moment to Steve to process what is he talking about because he's too busy daydreaming about how's this is the third night Javier spends there, wearing his clothes, using his bathroom. He hasn't even gone back to his apartment to bring his toothbrush because Steve had a spare one in his closet.

"What?"

"As a name, for her," Javier clarifies.

"Olivia, did you say?"

"Yes, what do you think?"

"It's not bad," Steve concedes.

"Olivia is it, then," Javier says, caressing the soft hairs behind her ear.

Steve is slowly drifting to sleep when Javier asks him: "Do you want to be a father?"

Steve snorts.

"Oh no, man. I can't wait to have my bed and my house on my own again," he says so quickly it hurts.

"Oh, okay."

He realises too late and with horror the effect of his words in Javier's face.

"No, I didn't mean like that, it's just I was not prepared for  _ all of this _ ," he tries to explain.

"It's okay, Murphy, just go to sleep," Javier says, and if he's hurt, he masks his voice very well.

Steve doesn't know what he could say without ruining it again so he chooses to stay silent.

The next morning Javier doesn't mention last night conversation during breakfast nor during their way to the orphanage. Steve drives and Javier bounces Olivia on his legs.

It takes more than two hours to get all the paperwork done and on their way back home, Steve takes a detour and stops the car in front of a cafeteria.

"Let's just enjoy the sun," he tries to cheer Javier up since he has been quiet all morning. Steve doesn't know if it is for his words last night or because Javier doesn't want Olivia to go.

They sit in a table outside and Olivia munches messily a biscuit they gave her; she's still on Javi's lap.

"Pass her to me," Steve says. "You have taken care of her all weekend."

Reluctantly, Javier lets her go with Steve.

"Look, I clearly didn't think what I said last night. You two are not a bother for me. I'm exhausted, that's all. I am sorry for what I said. I couldn't have done it without your help, Javi."

"It's okay, Steve. Let it go, please."

" _ Do you forgive me? _ "

Javier rolls his eyes.

"Shut up. We need to pick Vanessa up, I told her we would when we were done at the orphanage."

Steve doesn't let Javier take Olivia inside the brothel, so Javier brings all the girls to Steve's car.

"C'mon Murphy, let them hold Olivia for a moment," Javier encourages him while they wait for Vanessa.

Steve finally passes Olivia to one of the girls and the baby couldn't be happier, giggling and cooing in women arms.

They get home half an hour later and Steve explains to Vanessa where all the stuff is while Javi's at his house getting changed to go to work.

When they leave, Steve notices Javier gives Olivia a kiss in the temple and Vanessa a quick peck on the lips. Steve's ears are burning. Olivia is in Vanessa's arms and the woman make the girl wave at them.

Steve grabs the steering wheel harder than he should and Javier immediately knows something is wrong.

"What?" He says.

"What  _ what _ ?" Steve mocks him and Javier drops the matter for now.

"What have you so annoyed? Is leaving Olivia? I told you Vanessa knows her way," Javier mutters over their desks an hour later. Steve hasn't touched the coffee Javier brought him.

"You said she was your  _ friend _ ," Steve spits in a low voice. Trujillo is speaking over the phone behind him.

"I don't get it, she  _ is _ ," Javier says.

"Oh yes, so you kiss all your friends on the lips?" He finally shoots.

Javier let his body drops against the leather back of the chair.

" _ Of course _ ," he mouths, smiling, more to himself than to Steve.

"Of course, what?" Steve's voice comes up a bit high pitched and Trujillo looks at them.

"Nevermind, Murphy," Javier says and starts typewriting.

"Do we need to get your  _ girlfriend _ back to the brothel or can she use the bus?" Steve asks on their way home.

"I'll drive her myself if you don't want to do it," Javier states.

Steve doesn't answer.

When they get home, Olivia is sitting on the carpet, watching cartoons on the tv and Vanessa is sitting on the couch behind her. And there is again, the fucking peck on the lips Javier gives her before picking Olivia up in his arms. Steve almost cuts his finger with the kitchen knife he's peeling an apple. He offers to drive Vanessa to the brothel and Javier immediately joins them. Steve knows he doesn't want to leave Steve alone with her.

The days go like this: they have breakfast together, Vanessa shows up minutes before nine, Javier kisses her quickly on the lips, they go to work, Steve is irritable all morning, he calms down after they have lunch together, and gets annoyed again during their way home, Javier pecks Vanessa in the lips again, she leaves, they play with Olivia and the three of them snuggle on the couch after dinner.

"Do you have to do that every single day?" Steve asks Javi when they're on his truck going to work, the morning of the fifteenth day.

"Do _ what _ ?"

Steve cheeks and ears get pink and Javier looks at him like it's the most adorable thing on Earth.

"Kiss her," Steve says without looking at him.

Javier shakes his head.

"I do it because I want, not because I have to," is his cryptic response.

Later that day, Javier makes himself a coffee at the office and Steve looks up, waiting for the second cup of coffee Javier always makes for him but it doesn't come. Javier sits at his desk and starts filling a form, putting the cup out of Steve's reach. Steve frowns at him.

"If you want something you need to ask for it, Murphy," Javier says, not looking away from the sheet.

At lunchtime, Steve comes back from the bathroom and finds Javier already eating. There's no lunch on Steve's desk. Steve opens his mouth to recriminate but he remembers Javi's words form the morning. Fucker. Steve only eats a chocolate bar from the Embassy's vending machine for lunch.

The things go on like that: if Steve asks for something from Javier, he happily obliges, but nothing more. There are no small details like before, sliced fruit after dinner, picking Olivia up from his arms when he's tired, nothing.

In the afternoon of the twenty-first day, Steve gets a call from the orphanage. The government accepted the paperwork so they're admitting Olivia the next Friday. That time he doesn't need to ask from a hug from Javier because he has his arms around Steve's back in no time.

Steve has mixed feelings because he didn't ask for any of it, he really, really needs to sleep a full night but he also has learned to love the baby. Plus, with Olivia gone, Javier will be gone too. He cries in the shower that night. When he comes out of the bathroom, Javier is changing Olivia's diaper and Steve can see a lone tear rolling down his face. He doesn't want to comment about it.

Even Vanessa is really sad when Javier breaks the news to her.

The three of them go to the orphanage to leave Olivia. The baby is in Vanessa's arms and Steve and Javier unload the trunk of the car of all the things they have bought for the baby.

Olivia waves them goodbye with her little hand when the social worker takes her inside.

Vanessa is crying in silence and Steve doesn't want to look at Javier because he doesn't want to break there. They drive Vanessa back to the brothel and she says they're invited to come in if they want. Steve looks at Javi, who shakes his head and says goodbye to her.

"Are we going to work today?" Javier asks when they're alone in the car.

"I am, I don't want to go home just yet," Steve says.

The day at work passes sad and in silence. Even Trujillo has the sympathy of palming Steve in the shoulder when he comes to his desk to hand him a file.

None of them has lunch, and Javi even pours them two full glasses of whiskey before the Ambassador is gone.

It's already dark outside when they get home later that day. Javier gets upstairs with Steve and he supposes is to gather the things he has left there. But the first thing Javier does after entering is pouring himself another glass of whiskey and lighting a cigarette, sitting on Steve's couch. Steve discard his shoes and his tie and sits next to him, stealing the glass from his hand.

"She'll be okay," Javier mutters and Steve doesn't know if he's saying it to him or for himself.

Minutes pass and the glass resting on Steve's knee is almost empty.

"I want you to stay," he says in a low voice without looking at Javi. From the corner of his eye, he can see how Javi nods.

"In that case," Javier says after he has finished the second cigarette. "I want to go to bed now."

Steve sighs in relief.

They take turns to shower and they get in bed. It's sad because Olivia is gone but it's also scary because there is nothing between them this time.

"Can you turn the light off?" Steve asks Javier.

"I like it when you ask me for things," Javier says sweetly.

Steve turns to his side to face Javi. There is no much to see in the dark bedroom.

"I know, I just need to ask for things I want, don't I?"

Javier sighs.

"I suppose."

They stay in silence for a moment. The air has changed around them.

"So," Steve dares to speak after a couple of minutes, "if I asked you to kiss me,  _ would you just do it? _ "

Steve can't see Javi's face but he perceives the change in his breathing; it's uneven now.

"Well,  _ I suppose _ ," Javier concedes and Steve's heartbeat shoots up.

"Okay," Steve answers with a shaky voice. Honestly, he hasn't expected to come so far.

The silence between them deepens. The room feels hot now.

"Hey, Steve," Javier calls him very low.

"What?"

"Are you going to ask me to or not?"

Steve is panicking because he wants it with all of his heart but he's impossibly afraid.

"Maybe tomorrow," he says, half a joke, trying to mask his broken voice but he fails.

Javier empties his lungs in one sigh. Steve can feel the hot air just brushing his shoulder.

"Hey, Steve," Javier tries, even lower this time.

"Mmmh?"

"What if you ask me for it today? Better if it's  _ now _ ," Javier asks, and his voice is also faltering. He reaches a hand to caress Steve's right shoulder. His words send Steve's head spiralling to space. Maybe, after all, Javier just wants it as much as Steve does.

"Could you kiss me, Javi?" Steve's ears are burning.

"If you ask for it like that," Javier whispers, grabbing Steve by his chin and planting a kiss on his lips incredibly soft. It takes a moment for Steve to reciprocate the kiss and so they start a make-out session that has them panting and breathless. Slow, languid kisses just for the sake of kissing, not being the way to something more but being the goal itself. Charged kisses that try to say all of what they've been keeping for themselves.

They're still on it when Steve's stomach roars; neither of them has eaten since the morning. Javier laughs, breaking the kiss apart.

"If you ask me nicely, I could cook something really quick."

"And if I don't?" Steve inquires.

"I would do it anyway because I'm starving," Javier chuckles, kissing him one last time and going to the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if you liked it.  
> Comment if you hate me.
> 
> Please.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr, claveldelaire


End file.
